Curious about prostate toys? Here’s a guide to the first time

Molly Frances|2021.10.25

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As a society, we're becoming more and more comfortable talking about sex toys. We discuss vibrators with our friends, and there's even movement toward pleasure-based sex education. If we're discussing pleasure, we need to add prostate toys into the conversation.

Once marketed primarily to gay and bisexual men, prostate toys are enjoying a surge in popularity among penis-having people of all sexual orientations. Thanks to the destigmitization of anal pleasure for straight men, many heterosexual people are exploring the pleasure of prostate orgasms solo and with their partners.

If you're curious about prostate orgasms, prostate toys, and how they can enhance sexual experiences for penis owners, we can help. This guide will educate you on purchasing the right sex toy to explore anal pleasure.

What is the prostate?

The prostate, or p-spot, is a walnut-sized sex organ located directly below the bladders of cicgender men. It surrounds the urethra, the tube that allows urine and semen to flow out through the penis. The prostate swells to close off the bladder during arousal.

During ejaculation, the prostate contracts to expel fluid that protects sperm. Prostate toys can cause those contractions and a full-body orgasm.

How do you access the prostate?

The prostate is close to the rectum which is why prostate stimulation during sexual activity is done through the anus. To find the prostate, use a lubricated finger to enter your or your partner's anus and press lightly against the front wall. You'll feel a slight bulge indicating you've found the right spot.

It's also possible to stimulate the prostate less directly through the perineum or taint, the skin between the testicles and the anus. Pushing upward against this area may intensify sexual pleasure during masturbation and partnered sex.

Prostate toys are shaped to hit the prostate directly and provide intense stimulation that can get you to orgasm faster (and more effectively) than using fingers. You can enjoy them without penile stimulation or during masturbation, oral, or penetrative sex. You can even wear a prostate toy out and about, much like a wearable vibrator for vulva owners.

The benefits of prostate orgasms

All orgasms are incredible, but people generally experience stronger orgasms when more erogenous zones are involved. The prostate is often called the male g-spot because of how it intensifies orgasms. This orgasm even has its own name—a progasm. It’s that powerful.

Just like combination g-spot/clitoris orgasms are more intense for people with vaginas, people with penises who enjoy prostate orgasms report a much more intense sensation than with a penile-only orgasm. Orgasms from prostate play may or may not result in ejaculation.

Do you need more reasons to try prostate toys than just intense pleasure? There's also some evidence that prostate massage can help those with erectile dysfunction concerns. It can also help relieve swelling or an inflamed prostate that inhibits urine flow.

Just because you don't have a prostate doesn't mean you have to miss out on the fun of p-spot orgasms. Helping your penis-having partner achieve this full-body orgasm can add a new dimension to your partnered sex experiences.

4 types of prostate toys

It can be tiring for penis owners to access their prostate during masturbation. The angle is a bit tricky, and the wrist and fingers are likely to cramp before achieving that full-body O. Having a partner use fingers for prostate massage is an excellent option for exploration. However, since sex toy companies design toys specifically to hit the prostate, why not give one of these four types a try?

1. Vibrating prostate massager

If you're looking for a prostate toy designed to hit the p-spot just right every time, try a prostate massager. These toys are slightly curved, with a larger head than the base. The curve hits the spot against the front wall of the anus, where you can feel the prostate with your fingers.

The best prostate massager for you depends on your needs and desires. Like butt plugs, most of these anal toys will have a flared base for safety. Medical-grade silicone or stainless steel are body-safe materials that are easy to clean. Some even have a part that vibrates against the skin between the anus and scrotum to provide perineum stimulation. Hitting your prostate from both angles can intensify your O.

Vibrating prostate massagers will also have several vibration modes that allow you to explore different speeds and patterns to find what works best. Once you find the sensation that feels best, you can relax and enjoy the feeling of your progasm.

2. Butt plug

Anal plugs are designed to be worn inside the anus and have a flared base to prevent them from slipping inside. Butt plugs are not necessarily always prostate toys since they don’t curve for direct prostate stimulation. They'll add pressure to the prostate during other sexual activities.

The sensation from a straight butt plug will be less intense than one that curves to hit the prostate directly. Butt plugs are a terrific option if you're new to anal play or prostate toys. Anal plugs come in different girths and lengths, so you can choose the one that's right for your body.

Vibrating butt plugs provide both the sensation of fullness and powerful vibrations. These toys will stimulate the nerves surrounding your anus, a sensitive erogenous zone, as well as vibrate near your prostate. Vibrating butt plugs will have varying vibration patterns, so you can play around with them to find which tickles your p-spot best.

Inflatable butt plugs are another option for people who want to control the girth of their toy. These butt plugs start small and use an air pump to inflate once you insert them. With this prostate toy, you and your partner can choose exactly how much internal pressure you want.

3. Anal beads

Anal beads stimulate the sensitive nerves at the opening of your anus. You can insert them at whatever rate or depth you're comfortable with. Like butt plugs, anal beads may provide a gentle pressure against the prostate that can intensify orgasms during partnered or solo sex.

4. Strap-on dildos

Using a strap-on dildo for anal penetration with your partner can be a fun way to spice things up. If you have a vulva and your partner has a penis, it can be a terrific way to reverse roles a bit and try being the penetrating partner.

If you're looking for a strap-on set, it's important to consider what type of harness you find most comfortable. Leather ones look hot, but nylon or boxer-style harnesses might be more comfortable and give a greater range of motion. Some harnesses provide clitoral stimulation for the vulva owner while thrusting, while others have pockets to slip in a vibrator.

What dildo you put in the harness matters even more than the harness itself. If you and your partner are new to strap-on prostate toys, start with a small dildo and go slow. You can always work your way up to larger ones, vibrating ones, or buy a kit that has several different sizes.

Tips for picking the right prostate toy

When choosing a prostate toy, it's important to consider your comfort level, whether you'll use the toy solo or partnered, and how intense a sensation you want from the toy. Anal vibrator toys provide a more intense experience than their still counterparts. Anal sex toys come in a variety of shapes and sizes. These toys are made of body-safe materials such as stainless steel and silicone.

Choosing a rechargeable toy with a remote control or Bluetooth capabilities will give you hours of uninterrupted hands-free playtime. Remotes are perfect for people who want to use anal toys during masturbation since reaching behind you to adjust the settings is challenging. Many remote control anal sex toys even work at a distance, allowing a partner to control the vibrations at a restaurant or from their business trip.

No matter what toy you choose, be sure to use an adequate amount of toy-safe lube during anal play since the anus is not self-lubricating. Lube will protect you from friction and abrasions and enhance your anal pleasure.

Communicate about your prostate toy journey

As with any sexual encounter, enthusiastic consent from all people is essential before beginning. If you're introducing prostate toys with a partner, discuss comfort levels, desires, and needs before, during, and after sex.

If you want inspiration for adding anal stimulation to your masturbation routine or help to figure out how to talk to your partner about incorporating prostate toys into your experiences, try listening to erotic audio. In “Back on Top,” a woman takes complete control and her partner loves the result. Or maybe you're more interested in listening to a couple ease into their first experience with a strap-on in “F Train II.” Take a listen and have fun exploring prostate toys solo or with your partner.

Listen, light yourself up.

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