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Ever find yourself wishing that you could sustain a sex position for longer than your muscles will allow? Maybe you want your butt propped up higher to elevate your pelvis but can't keep your legs flexed and engaged for more than 15-30 seconds. Or maybe you don't have full mobility in your lower half and could use a little extra support to help your partner hit your g-spot.
Enter: the sex pillow. You might be thinking that a pillow is a pillow, but that’s not the case! Sex pillows are more like bolsters than pillows, which means they're firm enough to hold their shape during the sex acts that may require some additional support.
There are a few different shapes to choose from (including full-blown sex furniture) and a few ideal positions that work so much better with a bit of extra support. Here are tips for how to use a sex pillow and where to buy one.
A sex pillow is usually made out of either high-density foam or memory foam (or both) and covered in a machine-washable cover that can be taken on and off easily. They're almost always a lot firmer than your average bed pillow and serve to bolster different body parts during sex. They come in a number of shapes and sizes, and there are even some inflatable pillow options that work great for travel or keeping things discreet and tucked away at home.
You don't have to have a pillow fetish to use sex pillow. In fact, sex pillows make all kinds of sex positions easier to maintain. And they work wonders for differently abled folks, those with mobility issues, lower back pain, tired legs, or anyone who needs help maintaining the perfect angle when trying to achieve new levels of pleasure. In fact, many of the available models have landed on the perfect 27-degree angle to help you hit your g-spot during partnered and solo play.
If you've ever put a throw pillow or regular pillow from your bed under your bum (or your partner's) during sex, then you've used a makeshift sex pillow. But if you're interested in elevating your experience, then consider a pillow designed for this very thing.
Sex pillows come in different shapes and sizes, and each one is useful for particular positions. However, you don’t need to buy a different piece of sex furniture for every position, as many of your pillows are versatile, and can accommodate a variety of positions.
The best sex pillows have velvety, moisture-resistant, removable covers that are machine washable. A microfiber cover actually aids the sexual experience by providing more friction than a standard pillowcase. The additional friction holds the pillow in place for better stability during sex.
The three most common shapes for sex pillows are the wedge, the ramp, and the half moon. They're not the only options, but they're the most common.
Wedges are shaped just as the word describes. Imagine a right triangle with one short leg and one long leg. These are the ones with that magical 27-degree angle we mentioned earlier.
You can use a sex wedge to enhance a number of penetrative positions (both vaginal and anal sex) in addition to making oral sex a little easier on the giver's neck, especially someone giving cunnilingus.
Position 1: The hook (aka legs on the shoulders)
Lay the wedge with the longest side down on the bed or floor while the vulva owner lays on their back, butt against the pillow and legs in the air. The short leg of the wedge faces the partner. The penis owner or strap-on wearer can then place the bottom person's legs on their shoulders, and enjoy easy access and maximum g-spot stimulation. The top can either remain upright—perpendicular to the bed—or lean forward for deeper penetration.
This position works great for anal sex as well. Just flip the cushion over so that the bottom's butt is on the longest side of the pillow, and the long leg of the wedge is on the bed or floor. This way, the bottom is elevated even higher up for easier entry. It also may require a little more body curling for the person on the bottom.
Position 2: Cowgirl
In this position, the vulva owner is on top and the person doing the penetrating is on the bottom. The wedge is in the same position as the hook with the penetrator's butt against the pillow. The vulva owner straddles the person on the bottom and rides away. They'll lean back for maximum g-spot action. Feel free to try flipping the wedge pillow over if you want to exaggerate that angle even further.
Position 3: Modified doggy style
How the bottom lays on the wedge is up to you, based on how high you need to be for your partner's easy access. The bottom lays belly-side-down with their legs bent, draping themselves over the pillow. The pillow helps take pressure off the knees and lower back, allowing them to rest on the pillow rather than holding themselves up in standard doggystyle. Then a partner can come in from the back.
You can further modify this one into the wheelbarrow position by having the partner in the back lift up the legs of the partner in the front, holding them kind of like the handles of a wheelbarrow. This position is great for easier annilingus as well.
Position 4: Elevated oral
If you've ever given cunnilingus in bed, you know that it can be a doozy on your neck. With the short leg of the wedge pillow under the receiver's butt, the giver can really get comfortable and enjoy their time down there.
The ramp is a giant wedge. It can also take on a curved shape for softer lower back support or to soften the angle between the short leg and the longest side, depending on what brand or style you buy.
There's a bit of overlap between how you'd use a ramp and a wedge, but the ramp is great for particularly tall penis owners or strap-on wearers, in addition to larger people in general. So if you like what you've seen for the wedge, you can use the ramp in the same way, plus a few new positions.
Position 5: Standing missionary
In this one, you'll angle the ramp with the short leg under the bottom's head. The 27-degree angle is now under the bottom's bum, with the pillow positioned at the edge of the bed. The top is standing and can come in at that comfy angle with easy access to the clit.
Position 6: Easy 69
Sometimes 69ing is fun, and sometimes the idea of it is way sexier than the execution. Using a ramp works with either party on the bottom or top. Have the bottom person lay as they would for the hook, but the top will come from the other direction. The bottom person's head is either at the 27-degree angle or just past it on the bed, while the top's knees are straddling their head. The top will then lean forward toward the bottom's genitals while theirs are in the perfect position for easy access from the bottom.
By placing a wedge on top of the ramp so that both short legs of the triangles are facing out with a dip in the middle where the two 27-degree angles meet, you've created a wedge-ramp combo. This one is great for supporting the lower back in a number of positions we've already named but the main position this combo works wonders for is reverse cowgirl.
Position 7: Reverse cowgirl
If you've ever tried this position, you might run into some challenging angle issues for the penis owner. Many vulva owners want to lean forward to prop themselves up on their arms when doing the reverse cowgirl, but that bend downward can be brutal for some people, either causing them to lose their erection or just causing pain.
When you use the wedge-ramp combo for reverse cowgirl, you bolster the butt of the penis owner with the wedge, changing the angle and allowing the ride to be a lot more comfortable. The ramp provides back and neck support so that the bottom can see the show more easily without having to perform an intense ab workout.
The half moon is, again, shaped just like it sounds. It's a short cylinder sliced in half to make a half circle. You can use it to elevate the hips of either party in nearly all the positions we've already named with the flat side down facing the bed. Or you can flip it over with the round side down to add some motion in the ocean.
In other words, this toy is basically a sex rocker. Sometimes you want the support underneath you to roll with the tide, rocking back and forth as you come to climax. This pillow is perfect for that.
In addition to all the partner play we just went over, sex pillows can also make masturbation more fun. The most common way to use a penetrative sex toy for solo play is as a toy mount.
A toy mount can also come in a number of shapes, but the simplest shape is the half moon we mentioned, but with a slit down the middle of the round side. The slit is for holding a dildo or vibrator in place while you straddle it and enjoy your sesh.
For solo play, the pillow cushion both gives you something substantial to wrap your legs around and a place to hold your vibrator without having you use your hands.
For penis owners, there are also "fleshlight" sex pillow cushions, a version of a toy mount in which there's a fleshy hole that resembles a vagina or anus, usually made out of silicone for easy clean up.
If you're into restraints or BDSM, many of the pillows we just named are available with restraints attached. You can find them in each of the pillow shapes we've already mentioned in addition to sex cushions and furniture on a larger scale. These can be hand restraints, ankle restraints, or both.
Two top brands for sex pillows and sex furniture are Liberator and Dame Products. Liberator's signature product is the Liberator Wedge, which comes with and without restraints. They also have a wide variety of options that range from small pillows all the way to full-size furniture. You can also get the restraints or other enhancements a la carte. Dame's signature sex pillow is the Pillo, which comes as a standard pillow or a toy mount. They also sell high-quality sex toys.
If you want to start with a less expensive product to try out before committing to a top brand, you can always check out what's available from other online retailers. The least expensive options are usually smaller, and inflatable sex pillows are usually less expensive than the memory foam or high-density foam options. Take a look at the options for Toughage inflatable pillows on Google.
If you're thinking of trying out a sex pillow with your partner, talk to them so the two of you can decide together what makes the most sense for you and your sex life. Consider your own flexibility and mobility, the positions you’ve been wanting to try, and what problems one or some of them might solve.
If you're on your own and looking to rejuvenate your solo play, take a look at your options for toy mounts. Most toy mount pillows work as bolsters for couples too, so those might be your best bet if you're looking for something with a lot of versatility.
While you're shopping, consider how erotic stories might enhance your solo play or make partner play more fun. Sometimes rocking it out at home can be more fun with a sexy voice in your ear. Dipsea has all kinds of sexy stories, including some guided self-touch sessions that might give you some ideas for your new sex pillow. Head over to the Dipsea app to start your free trial.