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What does anal feel like? Here’s how to make it enjoyable

Molly Frances|2021.11.16

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When you ask people "what does anal feel like?" you'll get a variety of answers. Some like it, some love it, and for others it’s just not their thing. About a third of people have tried anal sex and many of them enjoy it and find pleasure in it, so if you’re interested it’s definitely worth exploring!

It’s natural to be curious about what anal feels like. Most people who like anal sex describe it as a feeling of fullness, pressure against some incredible erogenous zones, and particularly enjoyable for the nerve endings surrounding the sphincter. Many people report a bit of pain as the area is initially stretched to allow penetration (especially if it's your first time), but the pain recedes as the penis or dildo enters the rectum and your muscles relax.

People of all genders and sexual orientations can (and do!) enjoy anal sex. However, the way anal feels is different depending on whether you're a person with a prostate or one without. Here’s our guide to anal sex—what it feels like, how to prepare for it, and how to stay safe while you play.

What does anal feel like for prostate-having people

The prostate is a cis male sex organ located just below the bladder that produces the fluid sperm travels in. Anal sex puts pressure directly on the prostate (aka the male g-spot) which many find enjoyable. People with prostates report earth-shaking, full-body orgasms from a prostate massage and anal sex.

What does anal feel like for people without a prostate

If you don't have a prostate, you won't benefit from the intense sensation of prostate massage, however, many vagina owners report that orgasms are more intense with the combination of both anal and vaginal stimulation.

Anal sex feels similar to vaginal penetration. You'll have a sense of fullness and the nerve endings surrounding your sphincter will get a thrilling dose of stimulation. Anal orgasms are often described as intense full-body experiences that start in the pelvis and flow everywhere else.

The importance of preparation

If you've been wondering what anal sex feels like, you're probably interested in some ways to ensure it's an enjoyable experience for you and your partner. There are several steps you can take to prepare both physically and mentally for anal play or anal penetration.

Cleanliness

If you're wondering what anal feels like you're probably wondering about the cleanliness factor as well. Some people prefer enemas prior to booty play, but they aren’t necessary. It's a good idea to use the bathroom beforehand, and a shower or bath can help relax your sphincter muscles to allow for easier entry.

You may want to use a towel or waterproof blanket to ensure easy clean-up because anal sex can get messy (especially if you use the right amount of lube!). If you cover your play surface you won't need to worry about cleaning up afterwards.

If you use any toys with your partner it's important to make sure to wash them with soap and water or a toy cleaner before putting them away. Having a penis-having partner wear a condom during anal sex can help prevent transferring bacteria to other areas as well as prevent the spread of STIs. You may also opt to use a condom on a dildo, especially if it's a sex toy you also use in a vagina.

Consent

Just like any other sexual act, you need to have explicit consent for anal sex, pegging, or even anal play. If you're partnered, a conversation about what anal feels like should also include a discussion of concerns, methods, and maybe even a safe word to use in case one of you decides to back out at the last minute.

Consent is sexy. It allows you both to relax and enjoy the experience trusting your partner to listen to your boundaries as well as what you enjoy. Check in for consent before, during, and after anal play, especially when it's a new experience.

Use lots of lube

If you've heard anal sex feels painful, it's likely because the people involved weren't using enough lube. The anus doesn't produce natural lubrication so you will need some (actually, a lot) of help getting things slippery enough to be comfortable.

What type of lube you use depends on whether you're using sex toys, a penis, fingers, and if you’ll be using a condom. Silicone lubes last a long time and make things super slippery and comfortable but they can damage some sex toys and condoms.

Oil-based lubes are another long-lasting option, but they can also damage toys and condoms, and may even cause irritation. Water-based lube is generally safe for all condoms and sex toys and might be your best bet if you're using those items.

The bottom line with lube for your bottom is to check the package directions of the lube and any toys or condoms you're using for compatibility issues before playtime begins. Be sure to keep the bottle close at hand and reapply liberally so that you can experience what anal feels like without the pain.

Anal training

Those who think anal feels like a more intense version of vaginal penetrative sex often recommend anal training to prepare your body for this new aspect of your sex life. Anal training is using sex toys, fingers, and lots of lube to slowly introduce anal penetration and learn how to relax the sphincter muscles. That way, when you try anal sex for the first time, you have some experience to guide you.

The key to anal training, and all anal play, is to start slowly. You may feel some discomfort when you initially push past the sphincter muscles, but with some deep breaths, you should be able to relax so you can go further. Anal training can be part of foreplay or the main event—it’s up to you.

Some companies put together anal training kits. These kits contain butt plugs that range in size from about the thickness of a finger to the size of a penis or average dildo. These are great for beginners who want to know what anal feels like but are nervous about getting started.

A butt plug is a phallic-shaped object with a flared base that keeps it from getting lost. Using a butt plug can help you learn what anal feels like without committing to penetration from a penis or dildo.

Some butt plugs vibrate, and some don't. You or a partner can use a butt plug to tease the nerve endings around your sphincter during partnered sex or masturbation and then (with plenty of lube) try inserting it slowly.

Having vaginal sex with a butt plug inserted can cause more intense orgasms because more nerve endings get to join the party. The extra fullness will place more pressure on your g-spot. If you choose a vibrating sex toy, your penis-having partner will likely feel the vibrations as well and may find they enjoy the sensation.

Positions for anal sex

Anal sex feels different depending on what sex position you're trying. Doggy style, with one partner on their knees and the other with their pelvis lined up behind, is the one most of us think about for anal sex, but it isn't the only one.

If bending over and giving your partner full access to your backdoor is a bit much for you at first, try one of these positions until you're ready. It's a great idea to play with these positions solo before including a partner so you have a good idea about what you do and don't want to try.

Missionary

Having anal sex in the missionary position can make it hard for the thrusting partner to go too deep which is great if you're worried about how anal sex feels. Another bonus is that missionary allows you and your partner to maintain eye contact and communication during the experience.

To experience this during solo sex try inserting a dildo or butt plug into your anus and lay on your back so the bed holds the toy in place. Stimulate your clitoris with your fingers or use a dildo inserted into your vagina to get the sensation of double penetration. Grinding your bottom into the mattress can create a thrusting sensation with your anal toy.

Side-lying

Lying on your side is a wonderful position for anal sex whether you're partnered or flying solo. If you're masturbating you can reach behind your back and use a toy to see how anal sex feels. If you're with a partner, have them spoon you from behind or kneel near your hips and explore anal penetration.

Climb on top

Climbing on top of your partner or your dildo can make anal sex feel powerful and liberating. It also allows you to control the depth of penetration instead of relying on your partner for that important task. Being on top allows you to explore different depths, paces, and rhythms so you can find the one that feels best to you.

Try something new tonight

Safe anal sex is a combination of communication, protection, and lube. Anal sex feels best when you can relax knowing your partner will pay attention to your cues and listen to you every step of the way. Start slow and discuss your comfort as you progress.

Anal training can help you and your partner enjoy how anal sex feels without pain. No matter how you decide to start enjoying anal as part of your sex life, remember to use plenty of lube.

The most important thing to do to prepare for anal sex is to release your tension. Listening to erotic audio may help you and your partner(s) relax into the moment. Dipsea has stories that explore booty play, so you can hear what it's all about before you dive in. Try our Leather & Lace or Rhythm IV—we're pretty certain you'll be inspired to get all of your erogenous zones involved.

Listen, light yourself up.

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