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When it comes to the conversation about women masturbating, reactions vary depending on the audience. Some women will talk freely about their favorite vibrator, while others are less comfortable talking about their self-pleasure routines.
Society has done an excellent job of conditioning women to believe that masturbation isn't a normal part of female sexual development. Perhaps you’ve heard the (incorrect) messaging that women aren't sexual creatures in the same way men are? Yeah, we hate that message. And it comes at us from all angles, starting at a young age.
Most formal sex education focuses on procreation, even though most of the sex we have is for pleasure. Women often have to search elsewhere to learn about sexual arousal, masturbation tips, and female orgasms. And maybe some women never felt empowered to search at all, until now.
While stories and jokes about male masturbation are plentiful, female masturbation is largely undiscussed. Many women grow up hearing reasons they shouldn’t masturbate, but they’re all untrue. Women should be masturbating! In an effort to normalize that sentiment, let's start by calling out some myths about female masturbation and set the record straight.
Myth 1: You shouldn’t need to masturbate if you’re in a relationship
Your sexual relationship with other people is not in competition with your sexual relationship with yourself. Masturbating when you're in a relationship isn't just okay—it's encouraged. If all the health benefits of masturbation (we’ll explain below) aren't enough reason for you to explore your erogenous zones solo, self-love can serve a variety of needs, like being an answer to mismatched libidos.
Throughout a long-term relationship, sexual desire will wax and wane for all partners due to stress, health, and other factors. Allowing each person in a relationship the freedom to enjoy self-pleasure will only serve to strengthen your relationship.
Myth 2: Women don’t have strong sexual urges like men do
Dipsea exists to help women access their sexuality easily and on their own terms, so we obviously don't believe this outdated belief about female sexual urges. The truth is that no one gender owns sexual desire. People enjoy sex, and that includes masturbation.
The amount of sex a person wants or needs varies throughout their lifetime. There will be times when every day isn't enough and when every week is almost too much. This variability exists for everyone, not just women. And it’s important to remember that there are multiple kinds of desire and that experiencing one vs. the other doesn’t make your desire any less valid.
Myth 3: Too much masturbation can make sex less enjoyable
Did you read the study about how a vibrator that's too powerful or a dildo that's too big will cause a woman to lose sensation in her genitals? Neither did we. It's not a thing! No amount of masturbation will take away the sensation and enjoyment of partnered sex.
What’s more, masturbation can help you identify your erogenous zones so you can enjoy partnered sex even more. Finding out whether you like g-spot or clitoral stimulation better will empower you to enjoy more frequent orgasms. You can even share the best path to your orgasm with your partners (if you wish), which will make sex more enjoyable for everyone involved.
Myth 4: Female sexuality exists for the pleasure of other people
The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings. What more proof do you need that female sexuality exists for the pleasure of the clitoris owner?
Society tells women that they shouldn't want or seek sexual encounters but should look and act sexy (but not too sexy). This messaging makes it seem as if female sexuality exists for the enjoyment of other people.
Your desires, urges, arousal, and orgasms exist for your enjoyment, and so do your skin, your curves, and your lingerie collection. You can share them if you wish, or not, it’s up to you.
Myth 5: Maturbating can cause women to be promiscuous
While it's true that the more orgasms you have, the more you'll (probably) want, this statement about female masturbation has no merit. This myth assumes promiscuity is wrong when the term promiscuous simply means having multiple sexual partners. There is no moral attachment to the word or definition.
So, maybe masturbating will help you be more comfortable with your sexuality, and you’ll share your sex life with more partners. Perhaps it will help you and a current partner solve a libido mismatch, or maybe it will just be fun for you. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying pleasure and having more sex with more people.
Truth: Women masturbating is normal
More than half of women report masturbating regularly, and those numbers may be even larger. Women likely underreport masturbation because of societal messaging that says women have lower sex drives than men, which can easily cause women to feel shame about their solo sexual activity.
Taking time for a bit of self-love is a normal part of life regardless of your gender. You may masturbate more or less often than your friends and partners. Your masturbation habits, like your sex drive, can ebb and flow during your life.
Women masturbate for a variety of reasons, including pleasure and stress relief. For some women masturbating is an intentional event involving scented candles and lingerie, and for others, it's part of a nightly routine before falling asleep.
Above all, masturbation is normal in any amount and style that works for you.
Truth: Masturbation is beneficial for your health
Sure, a solo sesh feels good, but taking time to masturbate is good for your health too. The rush of chemicals such as oxytocin and prolactin after sexual activity is responsible for boosting more than just your sexual health. The side effects of masturbating are improved sleep, better mental health, pain reduction, and improved immunity.
For many people, masturbating before bed aids in relaxation and promotes healthy sleep. Many women report improved sleep even if they don't masturbate to orgasm.
If masturbating results in an orgasm (or five), you'll be treated to a dopamine rush which improves your overall sense of well-being and is good for your mental health. Masturbating can also help relieve period cramps and headaches because the chemicals released help reduce pain.
Masturbation can also help boost your immune system by boosting the antibodies that live in the linings of your nose, mouth, and vaginal tissue.
Again, you don’t need a reason to masturbate, but if you were looking for one, those are pretty good!
Truth: When women masturbate they improve their sex lives
Erotic self-touch is a normal part of sexual development, and continuing to masturbate when you're an adult is essential because as our bodies change, the types of touch we enjoy will as well. Pleasure does not have an age limit or expiration date.
Masturbation helps women determine whether they want internal or external stimulation and which sex toys and lube are the most enjoyable. There are multiple ways for women to orgasm, and experimenting with clitoral and g-spot stimulation during solo-play can help you unlock your orgasmic potential.
Women who masturbate are more comfortable with their bodies and have a more positive self-image. Touching your body in ways that feel good will remind you that you have a right to pleasure and that your body is a gift. That boost of confidence will enhance any partnered sex you choose to have.
Mutual masturbation can add intimacy to your partnered sex life. Showing your partner which parts of your body are erogenous zones and watching each other touch yourselves can be intense foreplay. It's also a great way to introduce sex toys to your relationship.
Masturbating can help you explore sexual fantasies safely and without committing to something like a threesome before you're ready. Imagining sexual scenarios or listening to erotic audio can help you decide if you want to make a particular fantasy a reality.
Masturbation allows women to take their sexual satisfaction into their own hands (or vibrators) and can empower them to say no to unhealthy or unsatisfying sexual relationships. If your self-love game is on point, someone’s offer of lousy sex is much less appealing. When you know the sort of pleasure your body is capable of experiencing, you won't settle for partnered sex that isn't at least as good as the sex you have with yourself.
Masturbation is genderless
Societal messaging about female sexuality tells us that masturbation is an innate part of male sexuality but is abnormal for women. The truth is that masturbating is a normal part of sexual development regardless of gender.
Masturbation can improve your overall health, boost your self-esteem, and improve your experience during both solo and partnered sexual activity. Even with all of those benefits, the fact that it feels good is reason enough to seduce yourself.
Many women report feeling shy about masturbation or having trouble figuring out where to start. For women who masturbate regularly, exploring various masturbation techniques and positions can provide a more intense and satisfying experience.
To help you figure out how to masturbate or explore a greater variety of self-love routines, Dipsea offers mesmerizing guided self-touch audio. Lay back and relax while our narrators guide you to try something a bit different so that you can keep your self-pleasure sessions tantalizingly fresh.
Listen, light yourself up.
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