Go behind the scenes of Wings of Winter. Listen to the podcast or read along as the creative team behind the story spills all the series' secrets.

Romantasy Blog Picture

The Making of Wings of Winter

Access all the amazing recommendations referenced in this podcast and more right now on the Dipsea app.

Go behind the scenes of Wings of Winter. Listen to the podcast or read along as the creative team talks about the inspiration behind Alex and Isa, and spills many series secrets. 

Raise the bar podcast cover art

The Making of Raise the Bar

Go behind the scenes of Lone Wolf. Listen or read along as the creative team tell the story of how this modern western was made.

Fictional Men Written By Women: Lone Wolf

The Making of Lone Wolf

<p style="text-align: center; font-style: italic;">Whether you’re sapphic, or just sapphic curious, there’s so much romance and erotica for you to explore. Start a free trial to check out sapphic stories on Dipsea. 
</p>

<p style="text-align: center; font-style: italic;">Dipsea is an app for Sexy Stories, Sleep Scenes, and Wellness Sessions designed to turn you on and then tuck you in. You can download Dipsea from the App Store, Google Play Store, or online at app.dipseastories.com.</p>

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## What does “Sapphic Mean” 

According to the dictionary, the word “Sapphic” originates from the Greek goddess Sappho, who lived on The Isle of Lesbos. In the nineteen fifties, “sapphic” began being used to describe women who were into women. And today it’s taken on a more expansive meaning, referring to attraction between women, whether they identify as lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, non-binary or queer. Although the mythological Sappho lived long ago, some of her tradition still lives on through erotica written about women who love women. 

You might not be able to visit an island full of sensual sapphics, but you can certainly read stories that transport you to worlds full of queer fantasy. 

At Dipsea, we make all kinds of queer erotica, here’s a few of our favorite Sapphic Stories:  

__[Goddess of the Hunt](https://dipsea.app.link/27FolvJJMGb):__  
This series reimagines the Greek myth of Artemis and Callisto, but instead of having their love be cursed, it gets to bloom in full. There’s woman warriors, mortal peril, and some very very spicy sapphic scenes. 

__[The Ticket](https://dipsea.app.link/J755uG1JMGb):__  
Looking for an escape, but not into fantasy? The Ticket is like taking a very sexy vacation without ever leaving home. In this series, Juliette, a wealthy and mysterious woman, whisks the protagonist away on adventures where they have high stakes sex, often in public. 

__[Office Hours](https://dipsea.app.link/ECHAr38JMGb):__  
This series is all about an off limits relationship between a professor and and her former student. It’s an intense and romantic, and so erotically charged 

__[Moonshadowe Chronicles](https://dipsea.app.link/llt1CCdKMGb):__  
This series was made for the romantasy booktok girls, for the fans of ACOTAR, and Fourth Wing…it’s got fae, magic, and so much enemies to lovers action. It’s the story of a woman warrior and princess traveling through a dangerous realm together, who over the course of their journey, fall in love. 

Whether you’re sapphic, or just sapphic curious, there’s so much romance and erotica for you to explore. 

<div style="width: 100%; height: 600px; margin-bottom: 20px; border-radius: 6px; overflow: hidden;"><iframe style="width: 100%; height: 600px;" frameborder="no" scrolling="no" allow="clipboard-write" seamless src="https://player.captivate.fm/show/407d0dcb-7e6b-4c8a-acfc-69cedfdf712e"></iframe></div>

## What does “Sapphic Mean” 

According to the dictionary, the word “Sapphic” originates from the Greek goddess Sappho, who lived on The Isle of Lesbos. In the nineteen fifties, “sapphic” began being used to describe women who were into women. And today it’s taken on a more expansive meaning, referring to attraction between women, whether they identify as lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, non-binary or queer. Although the mythological Sappho lived long ago, some of her tradition still lives on through erotica written about women who love women. 

You might not be able to visit an island full of sensual sapphics, but you can certainly read stories that transport you to worlds full of queer fantasy. 

At Dipsea, we make all kinds of queer erotica, here’s a few of our favorite Sapphic Stories:  

__[Goddess of the Hunt](https://dipsea.app.link/27FolvJJMGb):__  
This series reimagines the Greek myth of Artemis and Callisto, but instead of having their love be cursed, it gets to bloom in full. There’s woman warriors, mortal peril, and some very very spicy sapphic scenes. 

__[The Ticket](https://dipsea.app.link/J755uG1JMGb):__  
Looking for an escape, but not into fantasy? The Ticket is like taking a very sexy vacation without ever leaving home. In this series, Juliette, a wealthy and mysterious woman, whisks the protagonist away on adventures where they have high stakes sex, often in public. 

__[Office Hours](https://dipsea.app.link/ECHAr38JMGb):__  
This series is all about an off limits relationship between a professor and and her former student. It’s an intense and romantic, and so erotically charged 

__[Moonshadowe Chronicles](https://dipsea.app.link/llt1CCdKMGb):__  
This series was made for the romantasy booktok girls, for the fans of ACOTAR, and Fourth Wing…it’s got fae, magic, and so much enemies to lovers action. It’s the story of a woman warrior and princess traveling through a dangerous realm together, who over the course of their journey, fall in love. 

Whether you’re sapphic, or just sapphic curious, there’s so much romance and erotica for you to explore. 

<div style="width: 100%; height: 600px; margin-bottom: 20px; border-radius: 6px; overflow: hidden;"><iframe style="width: 100%; height: 600px;" frameborder="no" scrolling="no" allow="clipboard-write" seamless src="https://player.captivate.fm/show/407d0dcb-7e6b-4c8a-acfc-69cedfdf712e"></iframe></div>

Sapphic Blog Art

Sapphic Erotica: Women Loving Women Fantasy and Romance

Whether you’re sapphic, or just sapphic curious, there’s so much romance and erotica for you to explore. Start a free trial to check out sapphic stories on Dipsea.

Dipsea is an app for Sexy Stories, Sleep Scenes, and Wellness Sessions designed to turn you on and then tuck you in.

<p style="text-align: center; font-style: italic;">If you're looking for more or if you’re just looking to dip your toe into Romantasy, download Dipsea to check it out. 
</p>

<p style="text-align: center; font-style: italic;">Dipsea is an app for Sexy Stories, Sleep Scenes, and Wellness Sessions designed to turn you on and then tuck you in. You can download Dipsea from the App Store, Google Play Store, or online at app.dipseastories.com.</p>

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## __What exactly is Romantasy?__ 
  If you were just about anywhere online in 2023, you probably heard the term “Romantasy”, and wondered…what does it mean? In the simplest terms, “romantasy” is a literary category that blends the best elements of both romance and fantasy genres. Maybe you saw one of the [viral videos about Fourth Wing on #BookTok](https://www.tiktok.com/@gillianerin/video/7278565018915048747?lang=en), or saw a copy of A Court of Thorn and Roses at your local bookstore, and wondered what they were all about. You wouldn’t be alone—romantasy was one of the most popular book genres in the past year and it’s gaining more and more readers by the day. So what is it about romantasy that’s making people turn page after page? 

### __Epic Love:__ 
The characters in romantasy books traverse realms and  enemy lines for their love—it’s like regular romance, but the stakes are so much higher. And all that action creates an adrenaline filled story that’s nearly impossible to put down.  In the audiobook style story, [Wings of Winter](https://dipsea.app.link/vTkAA1JGMGb),  fae, humans, elves, and witches enter into a hunger-games style competition to return seasons back to their wintry realm. But Rowan, the son of the King, falls for a human warrior who enters the competition which makes what is already an intense story, much more high stakes. 

### __Escapism and Adventure:__ 
Sometimes a good book can feel like a great vacation, for a few minutes or a few hours, you’re whisked away from the routine of your day to day life and immersed in another world. Romantasy books, take literary escapism to the next level–readers explore worlds with supernatural creatures like fae and dragons and explore worlds completely unfamiliar from their own. In [Moonshadowe Chronicles](https://dipsea.app.link/uSSNpimHMGb), sworn enemies Fang and Lilla are forced to traverse hundreds of leagues from the Northern Kingdom to the Southern Kingdom, and along the way…fall in love. 

### __Extra Spicy Sex:__ 
  Romantasy doesn’t have to follow the rules of regular literature or even real life. Characters have supernatural strength and abilities… and all those extra abilities transfer over into the bedroom. In [Forbidden Fruit](https://dipsea.app.link/Tu9FalzHMGb), a greek myth reimagined, Hades and Persephone use magic to make their sex so much spicier–vines turn into bondage and crystals into sex toys…

It’s clear that Romantasy is here to stay. If you’re already a fan and looking for more or if you’re just looking to dip your toe into this new genre, download Dipsea to check out a wide array of series. 

<div style="width: 100%; height: 600px; margin-bottom: 20px; border-radius: 6px; overflow: hidden;"><iframe style="width: 100%; height: 600px;" frameborder="no" scrolling="no" allow="clipboard-write" seamless src="https://player.captivate.fm/show/59d229bd-fc34-4806-acf2-d2939d93e088"></iframe></div>


## __What exactly is Romantasy?__ 
  If you were just about anywhere online in 2023, you probably heard the term “Romantasy”, and wondered…what does it mean? In the simplest terms, “romantasy” is a literary category that blends the best elements of both romance and fantasy genres. Maybe you saw one of the [viral videos about Fourth Wing on #BookTok](https://www.tiktok.com/@gillianerin/video/7278565018915048747?lang=en), or saw a copy of A Court of Thorn and Roses at your local bookstore, and wondered what they were all about. You wouldn’t be alone—romantasy was one of the most popular book genres in the past year and it’s gaining more and more readers by the day. So what is it about romantasy that’s making people turn page after page? 

### __Epic Love:__ 
The characters in romantasy books traverse realms and  enemy lines for their love—it’s like regular romance, but the stakes are so much higher. And all that action creates an adrenaline filled story that’s nearly impossible to put down.  In the audiobook style story, [Wings of Winter](https://dipsea.app.link/vTkAA1JGMGb),  fae, humans, elves, and witches enter into a hunger-games style competition to return seasons back to their wintry realm. But Rowan, the son of the King, falls for a human warrior who enters the competition which makes what is already an intense story, much more high stakes. 

### __Escapism and Adventure:__ 
Sometimes a good book can feel like a great vacation, for a few minutes or a few hours, you’re whisked away from the routine of your day to day life and immersed in another world. Romantasy books, take literary escapism to the next level–readers explore worlds with supernatural creatures like fae and dragons and explore worlds completely unfamiliar from their own. In [Moonshadowe Chronicles](https://dipsea.app.link/uSSNpimHMGb), sworn enemies Fang and Lilla are forced to traverse hundreds of leagues from the Northern Kingdom to the Southern Kingdom, and along the way…fall in love. 

### __Extra Spicy Sex:__ 
  Romantasy doesn’t have to follow the rules of regular literature or even real life. Characters have supernatural strength and abilities… and all those extra abilities transfer over into the bedroom. In [Forbidden Fruit](https://dipsea.app.link/Tu9FalzHMGb), a greek myth reimagined, Hades and Persephone use magic to make their sex so much spicier–vines turn into bondage and crystals into sex toys…

It’s clear that Romantasy is here to stay. If you’re already a fan and looking for more or if you’re just looking to dip your toe into this new genre, download Dipsea to check out a wide array of series. 

<div style="width: 100%; height: 600px; margin-bottom: 20px; border-radius: 6px; overflow: hidden;"><iframe style="width: 100%; height: 600px;" frameborder="no" scrolling="no" allow="clipboard-write" seamless src="https://player.captivate.fm/show/59d229bd-fc34-4806-acf2-d2939d93e088"></iframe></div>


What Is Romantasy?

If you're looking for more or if you’re just looking to dip your toe into Romantasy, download Dipsea to check it out.

<p style="text-align: center; font-style: italic;">No matter how you experience desire, Dipsea can be the spark.</p>

<p style="text-align: center; font-style: italic;">Dipsea is an app for Sexy Stories, Sleep Scenes, and Wellness Sessions designed to turn you on and then tuck you in. You can download Dipsea from the App Store, Google Play Store, or online at app.dipseastories.com.</p>

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Time is a flat circle, according to Matthew McConaughey. I’ll listen to anything he says in his drawl, honestly, but that phrase in particular always stuck with me. It was the one ringing in my head this week when I found Emily Nagoski’s 2015 New York Times Op-Ed, “Nothing is Wrong with your Sex Drive.” It was written three years ago, but it's the same conversation I find myself having over and over again today. 

Dr. Nagoski wrote the article in response to the news that Sprout Pharmaceuticals was resubmitting its drug Flibanserin to the FDA, a drug meant to treat low libido in women. The major problem, as she saw it? That the company was trying to treat something that *isn’t a disease*. 

Fast forward three years. Flibanserin has gotten a millennial pink rebrand as Addyi, and is popping up on billboards all over San Francisco, and on ads in my Instagram feed. Instead of focusing on the company behind the ads, I’d rather focus on the cultural issues they’re still capitalizing on. 

Think about it for a second: do you yourself buy into the cultural narrative that women are less sexual than men? There are all sorts of societal myths on how much we should want, and like, and have sex. Too many women believe that their sex drive, or their very experience of sexuality, is disordered. That they don't want sex enough, that real pleasure and orgasm are out of reach, that something's broken. Inversely, women who want and express their desire for sex frequently have to deal with the perception that this is somehow "wrong" too.

> Too many women believe that their sex drive, or their very experience of sexuality, is disordered.

These pervasive beliefs, this list of “shoulds” we’re framing our sexual lives with, are leaving room for companies to sell pharmaceutical solutions to “fix it”.

So what if we took a step back and tried to tell the story another way. For millennia, male sexuality has dictated the cultural understanding of what a sex drive is, what arousal is, what orgasm is. Imagine if, instead of saying what is true for men should be true for women, we examined what other options there were. 

In other words, let’s stop viewing low female libido as a *disorder*, but rather as a *symptom*. A symptom of a culture that hasn’t asked women what they really need to feel sexual. It’s simply a misconception, held by men and women alike, that female desire should work like men’s.

> It's simply a misconception that female desire should work like men's. 

One of the most exciting things I’ve discovered in all my reading on sexuality is an idea called responsive vs. spontaneous desire. “Spontaneous desire” is the one we’re all most familiar with: I want you, I need you, oh baby oh baby. Sudden, intense, and immediate desire that makes arousal easy. 

But “Responsive desire" is what a lot of people (notably, women—but of course, not all women) actually experience. Instead of existing as a random urge, desire surfaces as a response: maybe a partner giving you a back massage. Or, if we’re being really honest, desire surfaces in response to a back massage...when the lighting is really good, and you went to the gym this morning and feel strong, and you’re also blissfully not at all stressed about work this week. 

Do you get where I’m going with this? In what we’ll call “highly erotic contexts”, when things feel “just right,” most women have a much easier time unlocking their sexuality. Wonderful, important work by sexuality researchers and psychologists like Dr. Emily Nagoski means we’re coming to a new understanding—women are actually just as sexual as men, they’re just more likely to experience responsive sexual desire. That knowledge is incredibly empowering. It will help to take a lot of the shame out of the equation, and pave the way for new paradigms and solutions for women to context set, get in the flow, set the mood, get turned on, whatever you want to call it. 

And guess what? That’s exactly what we’re trying to do at Dipsea. Ready to expreience it for yourself? Begin a 7-day free trial today and start exploring! 

<div class="blog-cta-centered">
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_Learn more about Responsive vs. Spontaneous Desire in Dr. Emily Nagoski’s book "Come As You Are"._


Time is a flat circle, according to Matthew McConaughey. I’ll listen to anything he says in his drawl, honestly, but that phrase in particular always stuck with me. It was the one ringing in my head this week when I found Emily Nagoski’s 2015 New York Times Op-Ed, “Nothing is Wrong with your Sex Drive.” It was written three years ago, but it's the same conversation I find myself having over and over again today. 

Dr. Nagoski wrote the article in response to the news that Sprout Pharmaceuticals was resubmitting its drug Flibanserin to the FDA, a drug meant to treat low libido in women. The major problem, as she saw it? That the company was trying to treat something that *isn’t a disease*. 

Fast forward three years. Flibanserin has gotten a millennial pink rebrand as Addyi, and is popping up on billboards all over San Francisco, and on ads in my Instagram feed. Instead of focusing on the company behind the ads, I’d rather focus on the cultural issues they’re still capitalizing on. 

Think about it for a second: do you yourself buy into the cultural narrative that women are less sexual than men? There are all sorts of societal myths on how much we should want, and like, and have sex. Too many women believe that their sex drive, or their very experience of sexuality, is disordered. That they don't want sex enough, that real pleasure and orgasm are out of reach, that something's broken. Inversely, women who want and express their desire for sex frequently have to deal with the perception that this is somehow "wrong" too.

> Too many women believe that their sex drive, or their very experience of sexuality, is disordered.

These pervasive beliefs, this list of “shoulds” we’re framing our sexual lives with, are leaving room for companies to sell pharmaceutical solutions to “fix it”.

So what if we took a step back and tried to tell the story another way. For millennia, male sexuality has dictated the cultural understanding of what a sex drive is, what arousal is, what orgasm is. Imagine if, instead of saying what is true for men should be true for women, we examined what other options there were. 

In other words, let’s stop viewing low female libido as a *disorder*, but rather as a *symptom*. A symptom of a culture that hasn’t asked women what they really need to feel sexual. It’s simply a misconception, held by men and women alike, that female desire should work like men’s.

> It's simply a misconception that female desire should work like men's. 

One of the most exciting things I’ve discovered in all my reading on sexuality is an idea called responsive vs. spontaneous desire. “Spontaneous desire” is the one we’re all most familiar with: I want you, I need you, oh baby oh baby. Sudden, intense, and immediate desire that makes arousal easy. 

But “Responsive desire" is what a lot of people (notably, women—but of course, not all women) actually experience. Instead of existing as a random urge, desire surfaces as a response: maybe a partner giving you a back massage. Or, if we’re being really honest, desire surfaces in response to a back massage...when the lighting is really good, and you went to the gym this morning and feel strong, and you’re also blissfully not at all stressed about work this week. 

Do you get where I’m going with this? In what we’ll call “highly erotic contexts”, when things feel “just right,” most women have a much easier time unlocking their sexuality. Wonderful, important work by sexuality researchers and psychologists like Dr. Emily Nagoski means we’re coming to a new understanding—women are actually just as sexual as men, they’re just more likely to experience responsive sexual desire. That knowledge is incredibly empowering. It will help to take a lot of the shame out of the equation, and pave the way for new paradigms and solutions for women to context set, get in the flow, set the mood, get turned on, whatever you want to call it. 

And guess what? That’s exactly what we’re trying to do at Dipsea. Ready to expreience it for yourself? Begin a 7-day free trial today and start exploring! 

_Learn more about Responsive vs. Spontaneous Desire in Dr. Emily Nagoski’s book "Come As You Are"._

Understanding responsive vs. spontaneous desire

Responsive-vs-Spontantious

Responsive vs. spontaneous desire

hometown

Hometown

office-hours

Office Hours I

No matter how you experience desire, Dipsea can be the spark.

share-image-dusk

Welcome to The Deep Dive , a bright spot on the internet to let your hair down, get curious, and dive into the wonder and joy of sex and intimacy.

Welcome to The Deep Dive, a bright spot on the internet to let your hair down, get curious, and dive into the wonder and joy of sex and intimacy.

Dipsea Blog - The Deep Dive 

Dipsea Blog | Welcome to The Deep Dive , a bright spot on the internet to let your hair down, get curious, and dive into the wonder and joy of sex and intimacy.

<p style="text-align: center; font-style: italic;">Ready to take your next solo sesh to a whole new level? That's what Dipsea is for.</p>

<p style="text-align: center; font-style: italic;">Dipsea is an app for Sexy Stories, Sleep Scenes, and Wellness Sessions designed to turn you on and then tuck you in. You can download Dipsea from the App Store, Google Play Store, or online at app.dipseastories.com.</p>

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If you've landed on this article, chances are you've been having a little trouble in the orgasm department. The truth is, if you don't know how to make yourself cum, a partner might not know either. We’re a fan of exploring all the beautiful parts of your own body and learning what it takes to see fireworks, especially if you're hoping for partnered sex to get you there. 

That's where a healthy masturbation habit comes in. If you're new to masturbation, feeling a little weird about it, or have just found that it does nothing for you, we're here to help. Learning how to make yourself cum takes practice and patience, so start by giving yourself a break, taking a deep breath, and coming at this with fresh eyes and possibly some fun sex toys. Get excited, you're about to have an orgasm.

## You're not alone

Before we dive into the deep end of all things orgasm, we want to first emphasize that you’re not alone. About 10-15% of women have [never had an orgasm](https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/001953.htm#:~:text=About%2010%25%20to%2015%25%20of,for%20an%20orgasm%20to%20happen.), and orgasmic challenges are the [second most frequently reported sexual issue](https://www.nature.com/articles/ijir20148#ref-CR4) in women. The reasons for this vary, including psychological and emotional state (especially anxiety), past traumas, a sense of unsafety, low self-esteem, and feelings of sexual openness with a partner. These are [all contributors](https://bedbible.com/orgasm-statistics/) to why vulva owners can have difficulty, even more so than a lack of experience with masturbation or sexual partners. 

So, while we'll focus on helping you figure out how to make yourself cum, the mechanics will only get you so far if you're experiencing some of these other roadblocks. Let's first try and get you into the mindset and then go over some masturbation techniques.

## Masturbation 101: mindset, setup, and orgasm

Plenty of vulva owners grew up conditioned to feel shame around masturbation and sexual pleasure in general. While we can't instantly take away this mental block, we do want to emphasize that masturbation is healthy and normal. 

Sex, sexual health, pleasure, exploration, masturbation, and orgasms are all natural, good, and important parts of living a happy, healthy life. There’s no shame in experiencing pleasure and no reason to be embarrassed.

There’s also the possibility that you’re putting [too much pressure on yourself](https://www.dipseastories.com/blog/stop-obsessing-over-orgasms/) if you’ve never experienced an orgasm. Give yourself a break and take the pressure off of the experience before going into it. If you've never experienced an orgasm before, either with yourself or with a partner, try to relax as the first step. It's a journey of learning and self-love, so start with that.

### Pamper yourself

Self-love is the name of the game here. Consider creating a [solo sex](https://www.dipseastories.com/blog/solo-sex/) experience, which is a little more involved than going straight into masturbating. In solo sex, you're seducing yourself to help ease you into the [right mindset](https://www.dipseastories.com/blog/women-sex-drive/) for self-pleasure and exploration. This first time may not yield the result you're looking for, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself and the process. And you never know, this new approach could be exactly what you need to cross over into O-land. 

Try relaxing your muscles with a warm bubble bath. Rub scented oil on yourself afterward. Put on a [sexy playlist](https://www.dipseastories.com/blog/summer-bedroom-jams/) and dance in the mirror, admiring your own body.

### Set the scene

Create the most relaxing environment possible for your solo sex sesh. For you that might mean cleaning up your room or changing the sheets before you get started. You might light some candles or diffuse some essential oils and put on your favorite underwear. 

Dim the lights, keep your playlist going, or turn on some audio erotica from [Dipsea](https://app.dipseastories.com/stories/self-touch-sensation-play) to provide some sonic sexiness while you explore.

### Take a deep breath ... or 10

[Breathwork](https://app.dipseastories.com/stories/breathing-deeply-basics) can be amazingly stimulating—but also relaxing. It's interesting that you'd want both sensations during a solo sesh, but when you think about it, you really do. 

[Deep breathing](https://rightasrain.uwmedicine.org/mind/stress/why-deep-breathing-makes-you-feel-so-chill) helps put your sympathetic nervous system (the one that governs your stress, nervousness, and anxiety) on pause and allows your parasympathetic nervous system (the one that controls rest and relaxation) to take over. In fact, it's literally impossible for your body to release stress hormones when your parasympathetic nervous system is in charge. Try closing your eyes and counting to five on the inhale and then five on the exhale. Once you're comfortable with that, bump it up to a seven-count. Notice how your body feels as you breathe. 

As for stimulation, deep breathing brings oxygen into your bloodstream and to all the body parts that need it. Sexologist Jessica O'Reilly suggests [taking deep breaths during masturbation](https://www.self.com/story/better-orgasms-breathing) to help increase blood flow to the genitals and increase sensation. While you don't want to focus so hard on your breath that you take your mind completely away from the task at hand, try breathing as you move your own hands across your body.

### Foreplay

So far, all the instructions we've outlined constitute light foreplay. Now it's time to get into a more body-based activity. You can keep breathing through all of this, but just let it flow if you feel like there are too many balls in the air. 

If you've had some partnered sexual experiences, you know that there's nothing like foreplay to get wet and stimulate your body. With solo sex, it's no different. Gently stroke your chest with the tips of your fingers, running them down between your breasts and encircling each one. If you like nipple play (or aren't sure if you do), stop on each one and give each one some gentle attention or a light squeeze. Trace the lines of your belly down to the line of your pubic hair and stroke the outside of your vulva gently. 

Again, try to release any expectations of orgasm on this journey, and just notice what feels good and how your body reacts to each sensation.

### Explore how to make yourself cum

Your vulva is a multi-faceted organ with components that can enhance your sexual experience and build pleasure that leads to orgasm. Many sex blogs and podcasts focus on the clitoris and clitoral stimulation, and while that's fantastic (and definitely something to build up to), going straight to the most sensitive part of your anatomy might be a little aggressive, especially if you've been having orgasmic challenges. Your clitoris has [8,000 nerve endings](https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/the-clitoris-has-8-000-nerve-endings-and-nine-other-things-we-learned-from-a-new-artwork-1.2947694#:~:text=There%20are%20more%20than%208%2C000,erectile%20tissue%2C%20muscle%20and%20nerves.) in it, so it's incredibly sensitive. Depending on how you're built, you may never want to go straight at it without a barrier like the clitoral hood or a pair of underwear to help soften the sensation. 

But there's only one way to find out!

Start by exploring the whole vulvar landscape. This includes your outer and inner labia (the lips or folds of skin around the opening of your vagina), the hood of your clitoris (which encircles the top and sides of your clit and protects it from overstimulation), and even the tender skin where your legs meet your crotch. Spend a minute or two with each part, notice if your body reacts as you gently stroke each area. 

You might find it helpful to use lube or coconut oil to make gliding across these body parts easier. You might also notice that tilting your pelvis forward in a sort of tucked butt flex position increases sensation in some of these areas. You could also pulse your hips forward and back to stimulate the interior of your vagina as you play with the exterior with your fingers. 

If you find that touching a particular area starts creating a warm buildup inside of you, begin moving your fingers faster on that area to see if that increases the pleasure. If it does, keep going. You're well on your way to learning just what an orgasm feels like.

## Types of orgasms

So everything we just talked about was all about externally derived orgasms. That's because most vulva owners find that [external (clitoral) stimulation is critical](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28678639/) to reaching an orgasm, and vaginal penetration alone just doesn't do it. But that doesn't mean that there's no pleasure in vaginal penetration. On the contrary, vaginal penetration coupled with clitoral stimulation can actually result in mind-blowing orgasms, especially if the penetration involves hitting the g-spot. 

Some vulva owners have both clitoral orgasms and g-spot orgasms at the same time, which some call full-body orgasms. 

If you're curious about penetration during your solo play, don't shy away from it. Try using your fingers or a toy (like a dildo or vibrator). Slowly insert a finger into your vagina and try pulling it in and out, or stroking the vaginal wall on the front of your body to try to find the g-spot. It might even feel good to just experience the fullness of having fingers or a toy inside of you without moving them. There’s no wrong way to do this!

You can alternate between penetration and playing with the clitoris and touching your body. Chances are high that if you're learning how to make yourself cum for the first time, the outside bits are going to be the key. 

## How to use toys

Sex toys are most certainly welcome in solo play. When you're by yourself, the sky's the limit.

As a [first-timer](https://www.dipseastories.com/blog/sex-toys-for-beginners/), you might consider getting a bullet vibrator or something designed specifically for external stimulation to help you discover which parts of your vulva provide the most pleasure. There are a number of options that offer different speeds and pulse patterns, which is a great way to start because you want to make sure you have the option to ramp up the power on your toy. (For example, magic wands are very powerful, so that would be an advanced toy for your first purchase.) Check out this article for more tips on [how to purchase and use a vibrator](https://www.dipseastories.com/blog/how-to-use-a-vibrator-tips-for-choosing-and-using-a-new-toy/).

One more thing you could try in the area of assisted orgasms is a little tool you don't have to purchase at all: the showerhead or bathtub faucet. If you have a hot tub in your backyard, a hot tub jet works too.

Stand in the shower and let your handheld showerhead flow against your vulva. Play with the settings to see which one you like best. Or lay with your butt against the front wall of your tub, legs straight up in a V-shape on either side of the faucet (this position might be too hard for some, and that's fine, no biggie). In the hot tub, face the jets and see how it goes.

Warm, pressurized water can have a way of working magic on your entire genital area. Even if you can't quite get all the way to the finish line using water, it's a fun way to get yourself going.

## The big O

So how do you know if you’re getting close? If you’ve never had an orgasm, then you might be wondering how you know if you’re getting warmer or colder. While everyone is different, there are a few potential signs that you’re doing what your body likes. 

First and foremost, as you become aroused and heading toward climax, your clitoris becomes more sensitive (usually in a good way) to what you’re doing to it or around it (sometimes it’s so sensitive you don't even need to touch it directly). A warm feeling might begin traveling upward from your vulva. You might begin breathing more heavily. Your body might want to tense up to increase the sensation. 

In some cases, it might feel a little like you have to pee as you get closer. If this makes you nervous, try playing in the bathtub or shower so that you can give yourself permission to just go with it. You probably won’t pee, but you might. And some vulva owners squirt (it’s normal, and it’s also a [whole other conversation](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25545022/#:~:text=Conclusions%3A%20The%20present%20data%20based,the%20emitted%20fluid%20often%20exists.) if you're curious), but many don't!

It’s called a climax for a reason. If you’ve reached it, you’ll feel a peak of sensation in your genitals as your muscles contract repeatedly—many compare it to a warm throbbing feeling or a surge of pleasure. Your heart will beat faster, your breath will speed up, you might involuntarily twitch, moan, or lift your pelvis, and your fingers and toes might curl. And chances are, when you’re finished, you won’t want to touch anything down there for a few minutes at least, as it will be highly sensitive and stimulated.

## It's time

The best way to learn is to do, so it's time to give all these suggestions a try. You deserve to feel good and enjoy your sex life, no matter if it's a solo sex life or a partnered one. The tips we've shared will surely help you get closer to the orgasmic feeling you're after. Just don't give up if it doesn't happen on your first try. To help you get started, take a listen to these guided self-touch sessions, in which you'll explore the various sensations in your body and even get into some gentle toy play. 

<div class="blog-cta-centered">
  <a
    class="blog-cta-purple-pill"
    href="https://app.dipseastories.com/?utm_source=web&utm_medium=blog&utm_campaign=makeyourselfcumblog"
  >
    Try Dipsea Free
  </a>
</div>

<div style="max-width: 41.25em; margin: 0 auto">
<div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row">

<div style="text-align: center; margin: 0 10px 0 0">
  <a target="_blank" href="https://app.dipseastories.com/series/self-touch-male-narrator-series?utm_source=web&utm_medium=blog&utm_campaign=makeyourselfcumblog">
    <img src="////images.contentful.com/03of3q5qzesq/6t8WfeHVplrAyi7cccPNzj/90a840545859b211dbe09451cf74f19e/500-352_Self_Touch_Gabby-fs8.png?h=250" />
    <p style="text-align: center;">Glow Up</p>
  </a>
</div>

<div style="text-align: center; margin: 0 10px 0 0">
  <a target="_blank" href="https://app.dipseastories.com/series/self-touch-male-narrator-series?utm_source=web&utm_medium=blog&utm_campaign=makeyourselfcumblog">
    <img src="//images.contentful.com/03of3q5qzesq/7L85SfC635CNby3y1Gb5Zl/d4b27a0317915cb12affcc27cadd67e1/500-370_SelfTouch_Gabby-fs8.png?h=250" />
    <p style="text-align: center;">Mix It Up</p>
  </a>
</div>

</div>
</div>

If you've landed on this article, chances are you've been having a little trouble in the orgasm department. The truth is, if you don't know how to make yourself cum, a partner might not know either. We’re a fan of exploring all the beautiful parts of your own body and learning what it takes to see fireworks, especially if you're hoping for partnered sex to get you there. 

That's where a healthy masturbation habit comes in. If you're new to masturbation, feeling a little weird about it, or have just found that it does nothing for you, we're here to help. Learning how to make yourself cum takes practice and patience, so start by giving yourself a break, taking a deep breath, and coming at this with fresh eyes and possibly some fun sex toys. Get excited, you're about to have an orgasm.

## You're not alone

Before we dive into the deep end of all things orgasm, we want to first emphasize that you’re not alone. About 10-15% of women have [never had an orgasm](https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/001953.htm#:~:text=About%2010%25%20to%2015%25%20of,for%20an%20orgasm%20to%20happen.), and orgasmic challenges are the [second most frequently reported sexual issue](https://www.nature.com/articles/ijir20148#ref-CR4) in women. The reasons for this vary, including psychological and emotional state (especially anxiety), past traumas, a sense of unsafety, low self-esteem, and feelings of sexual openness with a partner. These are [all contributors](https://bedbible.com/orgasm-statistics/) to why vulva owners can have difficulty, even more so than a lack of experience with masturbation or sexual partners. 

So, while we'll focus on helping you figure out how to make yourself cum, the mechanics will only get you so far if you're experiencing some of these other roadblocks. Let's first try and get you into the mindset and then go over some masturbation techniques.

## Masturbation 101: mindset, setup, and orgasm

Plenty of vulva owners grew up conditioned to feel shame around masturbation and sexual pleasure in general. While we can't instantly take away this mental block, we do want to emphasize that masturbation is healthy and normal. 

Sex, sexual health, pleasure, exploration, masturbation, and orgasms are all natural, good, and important parts of living a happy, healthy life. There’s no shame in experiencing pleasure and no reason to be embarrassed.

There’s also the possibility that you’re putting [too much pressure on yourself](https://www.dipseastories.com/blog/stop-obsessing-over-orgasms/) if you’ve never experienced an orgasm. Give yourself a break and take the pressure off of the experience before going into it. If you've never experienced an orgasm before, either with yourself or with a partner, try to relax as the first step. It's a journey of learning and self-love, so start with that.

### Pamper yourself

Self-love is the name of the game here. Consider creating a [solo sex](https://www.dipseastories.com/blog/solo-sex/) experience, which is a little more involved than going straight into masturbating. In solo sex, you're seducing yourself to help ease you into the [right mindset](https://www.dipseastories.com/blog/women-sex-drive/) for self-pleasure and exploration. This first time may not yield the result you're looking for, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself and the process. And you never know, this new approach could be exactly what you need to cross over into O-land. 

Try relaxing your muscles with a warm bubble bath. Rub scented oil on yourself afterward. Put on a [sexy playlist](https://www.dipseastories.com/blog/summer-bedroom-jams/) and dance in the mirror, admiring your own body.

### Set the scene

Create the most relaxing environment possible for your solo sex sesh. For you that might mean cleaning up your room or changing the sheets before you get started. You might light some candles or diffuse some essential oils and put on your favorite underwear. 

Dim the lights, keep your playlist going, or turn on some audio erotica from [Dipsea](https://app.dipseastories.com/stories/self-touch-sensation-play) to provide some sonic sexiness while you explore.

### Take a deep breath ... or 10

[Breathwork](https://app.dipseastories.com/stories/breathing-deeply-basics) can be amazingly stimulating—but also relaxing. It's interesting that you'd want both sensations during a solo sesh, but when you think about it, you really do. 

[Deep breathing](https://rightasrain.uwmedicine.org/mind/stress/why-deep-breathing-makes-you-feel-so-chill) helps put your sympathetic nervous system (the one that governs your stress, nervousness, and anxiety) on pause and allows your parasympathetic nervous system (the one that controls rest and relaxation) to take over. In fact, it's literally impossible for your body to release stress hormones when your parasympathetic nervous system is in charge. Try closing your eyes and counting to five on the inhale and then five on the exhale. Once you're comfortable with that, bump it up to a seven-count. Notice how your body feels as you breathe. 

As for stimulation, deep breathing brings oxygen into your bloodstream and to all the body parts that need it. Sexologist Jessica O'Reilly suggests [taking deep breaths during masturbation](https://www.self.com/story/better-orgasms-breathing) to help increase blood flow to the genitals and increase sensation. While you don't want to focus so hard on your breath that you take your mind completely away from the task at hand, try breathing as you move your own hands across your body.

### Foreplay

So far, all the instructions we've outlined constitute light foreplay. Now it's time to get into a more body-based activity. You can keep breathing through all of this, but just let it flow if you feel like there are too many balls in the air. 

If you've had some partnered sexual experiences, you know that there's nothing like foreplay to get wet and stimulate your body. With solo sex, it's no different. Gently stroke your chest with the tips of your fingers, running them down between your breasts and encircling each one. If you like nipple play (or aren't sure if you do), stop on each one and give each one some gentle attention or a light squeeze. Trace the lines of your belly down to the line of your pubic hair and stroke the outside of your vulva gently. 

Again, try to release any expectations of orgasm on this journey, and just notice what feels good and how your body reacts to each sensation.

### Explore how to make yourself cum

Your vulva is a multi-faceted organ with components that can enhance your sexual experience and build pleasure that leads to orgasm. Many sex blogs and podcasts focus on the clitoris and clitoral stimulation, and while that's fantastic (and definitely something to build up to), going straight to the most sensitive part of your anatomy might be a little aggressive, especially if you've been having orgasmic challenges. Your clitoris has [8,000 nerve endings](https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/the-clitoris-has-8-000-nerve-endings-and-nine-other-things-we-learned-from-a-new-artwork-1.2947694#:~:text=There%20are%20more%20than%208%2C000,erectile%20tissue%2C%20muscle%20and%20nerves.) in it, so it's incredibly sensitive. Depending on how you're built, you may never want to go straight at it without a barrier like the clitoral hood or a pair of underwear to help soften the sensation. 

But there's only one way to find out!

Start by exploring the whole vulvar landscape. This includes your outer and inner labia (the lips or folds of skin around the opening of your vagina), the hood of your clitoris (which encircles the top and sides of your clit and protects it from overstimulation), and even the tender skin where your legs meet your crotch. Spend a minute or two with each part, notice if your body reacts as you gently stroke each area. 

You might find it helpful to use lube or coconut oil to make gliding across these body parts easier. You might also notice that tilting your pelvis forward in a sort of tucked butt flex position increases sensation in some of these areas. You could also pulse your hips forward and back to stimulate the interior of your vagina as you play with the exterior with your fingers. 

If you find that touching a particular area starts creating a warm buildup inside of you, begin moving your fingers faster on that area to see if that increases the pleasure. If it does, keep going. You're well on your way to learning just what an orgasm feels like.

## Types of orgasms

So everything we just talked about was all about externally derived orgasms. That's because most vulva owners find that [external (clitoral) stimulation is critical](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28678639/) to reaching an orgasm, and vaginal penetration alone just doesn't do it. But that doesn't mean that there's no pleasure in vaginal penetration. On the contrary, vaginal penetration coupled with clitoral stimulation can actually result in mind-blowing orgasms, especially if the penetration involves hitting the g-spot. 

Some vulva owners have both clitoral orgasms and g-spot orgasms at the same time, which some call full-body orgasms. 

If you're curious about penetration during your solo play, don't shy away from it. Try using your fingers or a toy (like a dildo or vibrator). Slowly insert a finger into your vagina and try pulling it in and out, or stroking the vaginal wall on the front of your body to try to find the g-spot. It might even feel good to just experience the fullness of having fingers or a toy inside of you without moving them. There’s no wrong way to do this!

You can alternate between penetration and playing with the clitoris and touching your body. Chances are high that if you're learning how to make yourself cum for the first time, the outside bits are going to be the key. 

## How to use toys

Sex toys are most certainly welcome in solo play. When you're by yourself, the sky's the limit.

As a [first-timer](https://www.dipseastories.com/blog/sex-toys-for-beginners/), you might consider getting a bullet vibrator or something designed specifically for external stimulation to help you discover which parts of your vulva provide the most pleasure. There are a number of options that offer different speeds and pulse patterns, which is a great way to start because you want to make sure you have the option to ramp up the power on your toy. (For example, magic wands are very powerful, so that would be an advanced toy for your first purchase.) Check out this article for more tips on [how to purchase and use a vibrator](https://www.dipseastories.com/blog/how-to-use-a-vibrator-tips-for-choosing-and-using-a-new-toy/).

One more thing you could try in the area of assisted orgasms is a little tool you don't have to purchase at all: the showerhead or bathtub faucet. If you have a hot tub in your backyard, a hot tub jet works too.

Stand in the shower and let your handheld showerhead flow against your vulva. Play with the settings to see which one you like best. Or lay with your butt against the front wall of your tub, legs straight up in a V-shape on either side of the faucet (this position might be too hard for some, and that's fine, no biggie). In the hot tub, face the jets and see how it goes.

Warm, pressurized water can have a way of working magic on your entire genital area. Even if you can't quite get all the way to the finish line using water, it's a fun way to get yourself going.

## The big O

So how do you know if you’re getting close? If you’ve never had an orgasm, then you might be wondering how you know if you’re getting warmer or colder. While everyone is different, there are a few potential signs that you’re doing what your body likes. 

First and foremost, as you become aroused and heading toward climax, your clitoris becomes more sensitive (usually in a good way) to what you’re doing to it or around it (sometimes it’s so sensitive you don't even need to touch it directly). A warm feeling might begin traveling upward from your vulva. You might begin breathing more heavily. Your body might want to tense up to increase the sensation. 

In some cases, it might feel a little like you have to pee as you get closer. If this makes you nervous, try playing in the bathtub or shower so that you can give yourself permission to just go with it. You probably won’t pee, but you might. And some vulva owners squirt (it’s normal, and it’s also a [whole other conversation](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25545022/#:~:text=Conclusions%3A%20The%20present%20data%20based,the%20emitted%20fluid%20often%20exists.) if you're curious), but many don't!

It’s called a climax for a reason. If you’ve reached it, you’ll feel a peak of sensation in your genitals as your muscles contract repeatedly—many compare it to a warm throbbing feeling or a surge of pleasure. Your heart will beat faster, your breath will speed up, you might involuntarily twitch, moan, or lift your pelvis, and your fingers and toes might curl. And chances are, when you’re finished, you won’t want to touch anything down there for a few minutes at least, as it will be highly sensitive and stimulated.

## It's time

The best way to learn is to do, so it's time to give all these suggestions a try. You deserve to feel good and enjoy your sex life, no matter if it's a solo sex life or a partnered one. The tips we've shared will surely help you get closer to the orgasmic feeling you're after. Just don't give up if it doesn't happen on your first try. To help you get started, take a listen to these guided self-touch sessions, in which you'll explore the various sensations in your body and even get into some gentle toy play. 

While it may be your first orgasm, you don't have to figure it out alone. Learn exactly how to make yourself cum with a fun, nonjudgmental guide.

Your first solo orgasm: How to make yourself cum

Make-Yourself-Cum

Glow-up

Glow Up

mix-it-up

Mix it Up

Ready to take your next solo sesh to a whole new level? That's what Dipsea is for.

Women don't have as many orgasms as men. This orgasm gap exists mainly because most women don’t grow up learning about female sexual pleasure. If we don't know how to bring our bodies to orgasm, it's almost impossible to expect your partner to know (but a little googling never hurt anyone!). 

Because women tend to use mental framing to get turned on, one of the keys to earth-shattering sexual experiences is to know what turns your mind on. Once you activate your arousal, you can discover what sorts of touch your body prefers. After you’ve done that, it’s a whole lot easier to communicate your needs to a partner. 

People often forget that mind-blowing sexual experiences are an [essential part of overall health](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/316954). Sex is good for your mental health, heart, relationships, and even your immune system. It’s time to prioritize good sex. 

Erotic fiction is an effective tool for preparing your body for sex—either solo or partnered. Listening to erotica can do more than help you get in the mood. Erotic short stories can help you understand your sexual desires, build intimacy with yourself or a partner, and give you the sexual confidence you crave. Here’s a look at the key benefits of listening to erotic short stories.

## 1. Erotic short stories help women identify their sexual desires
There's a strong [link between sexual fantasizing and having a satisfying sex life](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/199509/the-safest-sex). Sexual fantasies are healthy and normal, but many women worry they aren't.

Society often teaches women to hide their desires which means many women might not even discuss fantasies with their best friends. 

When women grow up being socialized to not talk about sex beyond whatever reproductive health course is offered in their high school (which are, all too often, not that great!), they don't learn about desire or arousal, the first two steps in the sexual response cycle. 

In addition to sub-par formal sex education, women recieve incomplete social messaging about what their sexual desires are supposed to be. We hear things about how [men supposedly have higher sex drives](https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20160630-the-enduring-enigma-of-female-desire) than women, instead of learning about the natural [variablity of sex drives](https://www.dipseastories.com/blog/navigating-mismatched-desire/) regardless of gender.  

Combine the lack of comprehensive sex-ed with the socialization women receive regarding gender stereotypes and women wind up not knowing what they want in the bedroom (or the kitchen or the shower). We worry that our fantasies of taking or relinquishing control are misguided. We fear that our sex drives are too high or too low. 

And all that worry can make your vulva as responsive as an uncharged vibrator. 

The first step to satisfying sex is identifying what you want out of your sexual experiences. Indulging in [a story about one of your fantasies](https://www.dipseastories.com/blog/a-brief-sexy-history-of-erotica/) will prep your mind for sex. But, it may also help you figure out whether you enjoy thinking about romance, BDSM, orgies, casual sexual encounters, or something else.

Erotica can help you experience any fetish you desire without needing to step through the doors of a BDSM dungeon. Steamy stories let women explore sexual fantasies from a safe distance. 

For some women, listening to erotic stories helps them decide they want to move one of those fantasies from hypothetical to real life. Erotica can give them the language they need to communicate that desire to a partner. 

Identifying your sexual desires is the first step toward a satisfying sex life. 

## 2. Erotica helps women become more intimate with themselves

Mindfulness practices, such as meditation, help us connect with ourselves. The first time you try to meditate, your mind wanders from your breathing to the pile of laundry.  You get stuck in a constant state of trying to pull your mind back to meditating, and eventually it works. For many, guided meditation is the answer to a wandering mind. 

Women who masturbate regularly know their bodies and what turns them on. Unfortunately, for many women, getting in the right mindset for arousal is difficult. Sex stories, especially erotic audio, serve as a guided meditation, helping you connect with your sexual self. 

Listening to erotic short stories can keep your mind focused on arousal and away from the laundry room, the board room, or whatever kind of room your mind gets stuck in. Once your mindset is taken care of, you can focus on the task at hand. 

Spending time experimenting with different types of touch will help you learn whether you prefer a vibrating or sucking sensation, and whether internal or external stimulation is really what gets you there. [The more you masturbate](https://www.dipseastories.com/blog/masturbating-is-important-even-when-youre-in-a-relationship/), the more you’ll come to know about your preferences. And that intimate knowledge translates to more orgasms during solo or partnered sex.

## 3. Sexy short stories increase intimacy with your partner

Women who masturbate regularly and are intimately connected with their sexual self have more orgasms during solo sex. What's more, they can take that same sexual energy to their partnered sex.

Erotic short stories do more than improve your masturbation sessions. Listening to examples of erotic fantasy can help you become more comfortable talking about what interests you sexually. Your partner wants to know what gets you off. It's on you to tell them, but because discussing sex openly and honestly isn’t something we see frequently, it can be hard to [confidently articulate it](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/stress-and-sex/201712/sexual-communication-the-bedrock-make-your-bed-rock). 

When you’re comfortable explaining that you prefer circles around your clitoris over direct pressure, you’ll be able to experience more orgasms during partnered sex. The more orgasms you have, the more you'll want (we assume!). Better sex leads to more orgasms, and more orgasms lead to more sex. Everybody wins here. 

Don't keep the erotica to yourself. Listening to steamy stories together can help you explain your desires to a partner and help you learn about theirs. This connection makes it easier to talk about things like introducing sex toys, exploring threesomes, or something nonsexual like deciding which person is responsible for the pile of laundry. [Intimacy is the key](https://www.dipseastories.com/blog/increase-intimacy-precare-foreplay-aftercare/) to a satisfying partnership in and out of the bedroom.

## 4. Women's erotica inspires sexual confidence

Desire and arousal are primarily mental processes. Sometimes the stuff of life makes it difficult for women to get in the mood for sex. Let’s be honest, there’s a lot going on in the world right now, and if we’re focusing on that full-time, we’re not readying our minds for sex. If our mindset isn't right, getting in the mood can feel more like driving down a dirt road without street lights than a well-lit highway. 

Women-centric erotic fiction prepares our minds for sex. According to the Kinsey Institute, [nearly 90% of women use scenario conjuring](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/8233688_Turning_On_and_Turning_Off_A_Focus_Group_Study_of_the_Factors_That_Affect_Women's_Sexual_Arousal) to kick off their sexual response cycle. These scenarios can include sexual fantasies or even thinking about their emotional connection with a partner.

Women need stimuli to experience sexual desire. They also need it to move from desire to arousal. Erotica provides a paved highway toward arousal. And that intense arousal is the key to feeling confident in bed. Confidence leads to more intense orgasms, which can make sex more satisfying. 

## Improve your sex life with erotic short stories

Listening to erotic fiction inspires women to embrace their desires. For as long as we can remember, women learned from parents, religious leaders, and society that they should keep their sexual desires under wraps—but we’ve had enough of that.
Women like sex. Women want sex. At Dipsea, we believe women should get to have the sex they want. 

When women understand their desires, they can better communicate with their partners. Communication improves intimacy and creates a more satisfying relationship with yourself and your partner (or partners). 

[Erotic audio from Dipsea is unique](https://www.dipseastories.com/blog/erotic-audio/) because it includes more than just words on a page. It’s immersive and evocative, just like being dropped into the middle of a movie scene. 

All that mental stimulation helps women get into the right mindset for sexual activity so that even if all they have time for is a quickie, they can get in, get an orgasm (or four), and then go on to do whatever else it is they need to do. To get your mindset in the right place, take the assist from erotic short stories. 

  <div style="max-width: 41.25em; margin: 0 auto">
<div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row">

<div style="text-align: center; margin: 0 10px 0 0">
  <a target="_blank" href="https://app.dipseastories.com/stories/office-hours">
    <img src="//images.contentful.com/03of3q5qzesq/bTk4b0eVOnJ5IBlklET0l/7d26ef06c9bf8ce25e190bb873c420ce/Queer_Lecture_1.png?h=250" />
    <p style="text-align: center;">Office Hours</p>
  </a>
</div>

<div style="text-align: center; margin: 0 0 0 10px">
  <a target="_blank" href="https://app.dipseastories.com/series/five-years-series">
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    <p style="text-align: center;">Five Years</p>
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Women don't have as many orgasms as men. This orgasm gap exists mainly because most women don’t grow up learning about female sexual pleasure. If we don't know how to bring our bodies to orgasm, it's almost impossible to expect your partner to know (but a little googling never hurt anyone!). 

Because women tend to use mental framing to get turned on, one of the keys to earth-shattering sexual experiences is to know what turns your mind on. Once you activate your arousal, you can discover what sorts of touch your body prefers. After you’ve done that, it’s a whole lot easier to communicate your needs to a partner. 

People often forget that mind-blowing sexual experiences are an [essential part of overall health](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/316954). Sex is good for your mental health, heart, relationships, and even your immune system. It’s time to prioritize good sex. 

Erotic fiction is an effective tool for preparing your body for sex—either solo or partnered. Listening to erotica can do more than help you get in the mood. Erotic short stories can help you understand your sexual desires, build intimacy with yourself or a partner, and give you the sexual confidence you crave. Here’s a look at the key benefits of listening to erotic short stories.

## 1. Erotic short stories help women identify their sexual desires
There's a strong [link between sexual fantasizing and having a satisfying sex life](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/199509/the-safest-sex). Sexual fantasies are healthy and normal, but many women worry they aren't.

Society often teaches women to hide their desires which means many women might not even discuss fantasies with their best friends. 

When women grow up being socialized to not talk about sex beyond whatever reproductive health course is offered in their high school (which are, all too often, not that great!), they don't learn about desire or arousal, the first two steps in the sexual response cycle. 

In addition to sub-par formal sex education, women recieve incomplete social messaging about what their sexual desires are supposed to be. We hear things about how [men supposedly have higher sex drives](https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20160630-the-enduring-enigma-of-female-desire) than women, instead of learning about the natural [variablity of sex drives](https://www.dipseastories.com/blog/navigating-mismatched-desire/) regardless of gender.  

Combine the lack of comprehensive sex-ed with the socialization women receive regarding gender stereotypes and women wind up not knowing what they want in the bedroom (or the kitchen or the shower). We worry that our fantasies of taking or relinquishing control are misguided. We fear that our sex drives are too high or too low. 

And all that worry can make your vulva as responsive as an uncharged vibrator. 

The first step to satisfying sex is identifying what you want out of your sexual experiences. Indulging in [a story about one of your fantasies](https://www.dipseastories.com/blog/a-brief-sexy-history-of-erotica/) will prep your mind for sex. But, it may also help you figure out whether you enjoy thinking about romance, BDSM, orgies, casual sexual encounters, or something else.

Erotica can help you experience any fetish you desire without needing to step through the doors of a BDSM dungeon. Steamy stories let women explore sexual fantasies from a safe distance. 

For some women, listening to erotic stories helps them decide they want to move one of those fantasies from hypothetical to real life. Erotica can give them the language they need to communicate that desire to a partner. 

Identifying your sexual desires is the first step toward a satisfying sex life. 

## 2. Erotica helps women become more intimate with themselves

Mindfulness practices, such as meditation, help us connect with ourselves. The first time you try to meditate, your mind wanders from your breathing to the pile of laundry.  You get stuck in a constant state of trying to pull your mind back to meditating, and eventually it works. For many, guided meditation is the answer to a wandering mind. 

Women who masturbate regularly know their bodies and what turns them on. Unfortunately, for many women, getting in the right mindset for arousal is difficult. Sex stories, especially erotic audio, serve as a guided meditation, helping you connect with your sexual self. 

Listening to erotic short stories can keep your mind focused on arousal and away from the laundry room, the board room, or whatever kind of room your mind gets stuck in. Once your mindset is taken care of, you can focus on the task at hand. 

Spending time experimenting with different types of touch will help you learn whether you prefer a vibrating or sucking sensation, and whether internal or external stimulation is really what gets you there. [The more you masturbate](https://www.dipseastories.com/blog/masturbating-is-important-even-when-youre-in-a-relationship/), the more you’ll come to know about your preferences. And that intimate knowledge translates to more orgasms during solo or partnered sex.

## 3. Sexy short stories increase intimacy with your partner

Women who masturbate regularly and are intimately connected with their sexual self have more orgasms during solo sex. What's more, they can take that same sexual energy to their partnered sex.

Erotic short stories do more than improve your masturbation sessions. Listening to examples of erotic fantasy can help you become more comfortable talking about what interests you sexually. Your partner wants to know what gets you off. It's on you to tell them, but because discussing sex openly and honestly isn’t something we see frequently, it can be hard to [confidently articulate it](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/stress-and-sex/201712/sexual-communication-the-bedrock-make-your-bed-rock). 

When you’re comfortable explaining that you prefer circles around your clitoris over direct pressure, you’ll be able to experience more orgasms during partnered sex. The more orgasms you have, the more you'll want (we assume!). Better sex leads to more orgasms, and more orgasms lead to more sex. Everybody wins here. 

Don't keep the erotica to yourself. Listening to steamy stories together can help you explain your desires to a partner and help you learn about theirs. This connection makes it easier to talk about things like introducing sex toys, exploring threesomes, or something nonsexual like deciding which person is responsible for the pile of laundry. [Intimacy is the key](https://www.dipseastories.com/blog/increase-intimacy-precare-foreplay-aftercare/) to a satisfying partnership in and out of the bedroom.

## 4. Women's erotica inspires sexual confidence

Desire and arousal are primarily mental processes. Sometimes the stuff of life makes it difficult for women to get in the mood for sex. Let’s be honest, there’s a lot going on in the world right now, and if we’re focusing on that full-time, we’re not readying our minds for sex. If our mindset isn't right, getting in the mood can feel more like driving down a dirt road without street lights than a well-lit highway. 

Women-centric erotic fiction prepares our minds for sex. According to the Kinsey Institute, [nearly 90% of women use scenario conjuring](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/8233688_Turning_On_and_Turning_Off_A_Focus_Group_Study_of_the_Factors_That_Affect_Women's_Sexual_Arousal) to kick off their sexual response cycle. These scenarios can include sexual fantasies or even thinking about their emotional connection with a partner.

Women need stimuli to experience sexual desire. They also need it to move from desire to arousal. Erotica provides a paved highway toward arousal. And that intense arousal is the key to feeling confident in bed. Confidence leads to more intense orgasms, which can make sex more satisfying. 

## Improve your sex life with erotic short stories

Listening to erotic fiction inspires women to embrace their desires. For as long as we can remember, women learned from parents, religious leaders, and society that they should keep their sexual desires under wraps—but we’ve had enough of that.
Women like sex. Women want sex. At Dipsea, we believe women should get to have the sex they want. 

When women understand their desires, they can better communicate with their partners. Communication improves intimacy and creates a more satisfying relationship with yourself and your partner (or partners). 

[Erotic audio from Dipsea is unique](https://www.dipseastories.com/blog/erotic-audio/) because it includes more than just words on a page. It’s immersive and evocative, just like being dropped into the middle of a movie scene. 

All that mental stimulation helps women get into the right mindset for sexual activity so that even if all they have time for is a quickie, they can get in, get an orgasm (or four), and then go on to do whatever else it is they need to do. To get your mindset in the right place, take the assist from erotic short stories. 

Erotic short stories can help you understand your sexual desires, build intimacy with yourself or a partner, and give you the sexual confidence you crave.

4 ways erotic short stories can improve sexual satisfaction 

4-ways-Erotic-Short-Stories

4 ways erotic short stories improve sexual satisfaction 

5 YEARS

Five Years I

Ready to take "me time" to a whole new level? Dipsea has you covered.

Hi! I’m Gina, one of the co-founders of Dipsea. Welcome to the “Dipseaverse,” I’m so glad you’ve decided to check us out!

Nothing makes us happier than hearing from listeners about the ways Dipsea helps them to feel more: more in tune with their bodies, more connected to their partners, more flirtatious putting themselves out there, and the most like themselves.  

But before you’re ready to dive in yourself, maybe you want to know more. Dipsea is an entirely new experience, so that makes sense! I’ll be answering some of the questions we get asked the most here. As a team that prides itself on communication, consent, and setting clear expectations—you’re in the right place to get all the answers. 

xo Gina

<div class="blog-cta-centered">
  <a
    class="blog-cta-purple-pill"
    href="https://app.dipseastories.com/?utm_source=web&utm_medium=blog&utm_campaign=FAQblog"
  >
    Try Dipsea Free
  </a>
</div>

__What is Dipsea?__

Dipsea is where storytelling meets sexual wellness. With an annual or a monthly subscription, you can get access to hundreds of audio stories designed to get you in the mood, show you what you like, and open you up to self-discovery. Every Dipsea story is a consensual, feminist, and sex-positive original production created by our in-house team of storytellers. 

In addition to Sexy Stories, our library also includes cozy Sleep Scenes, and Wellness Sessions.

You can download Dipsea in the App Store, Google Play Store, or access the app online. 

__Who are the people behind the app?__

We’re a female-founded company based in San Francisco, California. My co-founder Faye and I were friends before we started Dipsea, and we were fascinated by the idea that sexuality is as mental as it is physical. So we set out to create erotica as sexy as it is sex-positive. 

Four years later, Dipsea has grown into a team of 20+ incredible people. We’re half tech startup and half story studio. Our team includes audio producers and software engineers, writers, and product managers. None of us had professional experience creating erotica, which means we write our own rules and bring fresh energy and ideas to a totally new genre of storytelling. 

__How do you work with voice actors and story contributors?__

The best way to live a commitment to diversity and inclusion is to give paid opportunities to people doing excellent work. We work with a big network of talented voice actors who can represent how the world really sounds, and over 50% of our characters are voiced by people of color. 

Voice actors are recorded individually in studios all over the world. Dipsea producers then mix those recordings to create immersive audio stories where it sounds like multiple characters are together. It’s amazing how realistic a Dipsea story sounds, and a lot of hard work goes into creating that magic. 

Most of our stories are written in-house, but we occasionally partner with writers and story contributors with unique stories to tell and who can base their storytelling on their lived experiences. 

__What makes Dipsea special?__

Chances are you’ve probably been taught a few things about sex that aren’t serving you: that your desires are shameful, that pleasure is only okay when it comes after the word “guilty,” and that sex is basically a relay race toward orgasm with a partner. 

Dipsea is (literally) flipping the script, deprogramming harmful ideas, and re-setting the standards—high—for women’s lives and relationships. 

At Dipsea, we have two core beliefs. The first? Sexual wellness is essential. You deserve to feel good in your body, to live shame-free, to voice your preferences and state your boundaries, and to experience pleasure. The second? That storytelling is powerful. It illuminates the parts of yourself you might have lost touch with, gives you ideas for your own life, and fires up the imagination. 

We take a mind-first approach to sexuality because the answers have always been a part of you. Dipsea is a powerful reminder that starting with you—your wants, your needs, your fantasies—is the best way to manifest sexual wellness, and to feel more confident and joyful in and out of the bedroom. 

__What are the stories like?__

Desire is all in the details. That’s why we put so much care into every story we create. Between 10-25 minutes long, Dipsea audio stories immerse you in a world of aspirational and 100% consensual sex and relationships, and sometimes even insert you into the story. You’ll meet characters you’ll love—and watch your imagination do the rest. 

We want people to hear themselves in our stories. Over 50% of our characters are voiced by people of color, and over 25% of our stories are queer. Characters are empowered in their sexual, social, and romantic experiences. Sex is communicative, and pleasure doesn’t sound performed. 

__How sexy are the stories, really?__

Dipsea stories are designed to be erotic. Some are more flirtatious and romantic, and some include more intense themes like off-limits hookups, threesomes, and BDSM. 

We believe communication is key. Stories are always clearly tagged, labeled, and explained—so you always know exactly what you’re getting into before you listen. Because if you don’t feel safe and comfortable, you’ll never feel relaxed and turned on. And you’ll have an easy time finding more of what you’re looking for, especially as we get to know you better. 

__What are your Sleep Scenes like?__

Every night Dipsea was already being invited under duvets, tucked under pillows, and placed on nightstands. Sleep by Dipsea was developed as an even more intentional exhale at the end of a listening session.

Queue up soothing sounds, tranquil tours of dreamy destinations, and cozy Sleep Overs where a Dipsea Hunk tucks you in and then stays close by (playing the guitar or cleaning up after dinner) while you drift off. Dipsea Sleep Scenes range between 15-60 minutes. 

__What about the Wellness Sessions?__

Our Wellness Sessions are designed to support listeners trying to bring more of an active practice into their sexual and romantic lives. We partner with experts to create meditations, erotic breathwork exercises, dirty talk how-to’s, self-love guides, and more. 

__Why does Dipsea focus on audio?__

90% of women use their imaginations to get aroused, according to a study done by OMGYes and the Kinsey Institute. Audio erotica is intimate, immersive, and incredibly personal for each listener. Every story becomes your own personal version, designed by your own imagination. 
Dipsea now also offers sexy stories that you can read chapter by chapter, so you can get lost in the steamy backstories of your favorite Hunks, or discover new retellings of our most loved series.

__Is Dipsea just for women?__

Dipsea was designed with women in mind because they were so clearly underserved in a space defined by and for the male gaze. But the app is a safe space for all perspectives, preferences, and genders. Dipsea has HER + HER, HER + HIM, and a growing selection of HIM + HIM, and non-binary content. Over 25% of the Dipsea library is queer. Dipsea is an approachable resource for anyone who wants to get in the mood, spark their imagination, and learn about themselves. 

__Can partners listen together?__

If you think Dipsea might be a fun way to get in the mood together or to break the ice on certain topics with your partner—amazing! Dipsea is a highly personal experience, and you should listen in the ways that make the most sense for you. Our research shows that most people listen solo (~90% of subscribers), but more than 30% of people say the reason they listen to Dipsea is for the positive effect it has on their relationships. 

By nurturing your imagination and getting familiar with your fantasies and boundaries, you’re primed to have great sex with yourself and others. 

__Can I work for Dipsea?__ 

We’re only as great as the people we work with, and we’d love to meet you. Check out the current opportunities for working with us: 

- [Work with us](https://angel.co/dipsea/jobs)
- [Voice act for us](https://www.dipseastories.com/voice/) 
- [Become a story contributor](https://forms.gle/dQ4j9zPFxffqoH5c6) 

<div class="blog-cta-centered">
  <a
    class="blog-cta-purple-pill"
    href="https://app.dipseastories.com/?utm_source=web&utm_medium=blog&utm_campaign=FAQblog"
  >
    Try Dipsea Free
  </a>
</div>

Hi! I’m Gina, one of the co-founders of Dipsea. Welcome to the “Dipseaverse,” I’m so glad you’ve decided to check us out!

Nothing makes us happier than hearing from listeners about the ways Dipsea helps them to feel more: more in tune with their bodies, more connected to their partners, more flirtatious putting themselves out there, and the most like themselves.  

But before you’re ready to dive in yourself, maybe you want to know more. Dipsea is an entirely new experience, so that makes sense! I’ll be answering some of the questions we get asked the most here. As a team that prides itself on communication, consent, and setting clear expectations—you’re in the right place to get all the answers. 

xo Gina

__What is Dipsea?__

Dipsea is where storytelling meets sexual wellness. With an annual or a monthly subscription, you can get access to hundreds of audio stories designed to get you in the mood, show you what you like, and open you up to self-discovery. Every Dipsea story is a consensual, feminist, and sex-positive original production created by our in-house team of storytellers. 

In addition to Sexy Stories, our library also includes cozy Sleep Scenes, and Wellness Sessions.

You can download Dipsea in the App Store, Google Play Store, or access the app online. 

__Who are the people behind the app?__

We’re a female-founded company based in San Francisco, California. My co-founder Faye and I were friends before we started Dipsea, and we were fascinated by the idea that sexuality is as mental as it is physical. So we set out to create erotica as sexy as it is sex-positive. 

Four years later, Dipsea has grown into a team of 20+ incredible people. We’re half tech startup and half story studio. Our team includes audio producers and software engineers, writers, and product managers. None of us had professional experience creating erotica, which means we write our own rules and bring fresh energy and ideas to a totally new genre of storytelling. 

__How do you work with voice actors and story contributors?__

The best way to live a commitment to diversity and inclusion is to give paid opportunities to people doing excellent work. We work with a big network of talented voice actors who can represent how the world really sounds, and over 50% of our characters are voiced by people of color. 

Voice actors are recorded individually in studios all over the world. Dipsea producers then mix those recordings to create immersive audio stories where it sounds like multiple characters are together. It’s amazing how realistic a Dipsea story sounds, and a lot of hard work goes into creating that magic. 

Most of our stories are written in-house, but we occasionally partner with writers and story contributors with unique stories to tell and who can base their storytelling on their lived experiences. 

__What makes Dipsea special?__

Chances are you’ve probably been taught a few things about sex that aren’t serving you: that your desires are shameful, that pleasure is only okay when it comes after the word “guilty,” and that sex is basically a relay race toward orgasm with a partner. 

Dipsea is (literally) flipping the script, deprogramming harmful ideas, and re-setting the standards—high—for women’s lives and relationships. 

At Dipsea, we have two core beliefs. The first? Sexual wellness is essential. You deserve to feel good in your body, to live shame-free, to voice your preferences and state your boundaries, and to experience pleasure. The second? That storytelling is powerful. It illuminates the parts of yourself you might have lost touch with, gives you ideas for your own life, and fires up the imagination. 

We take a mind-first approach to sexuality because the answers have always been a part of you. Dipsea is a powerful reminder that starting with you—your wants, your needs, your fantasies—is the best way to manifest sexual wellness, and to feel more confident and joyful in and out of the bedroom. 

__What are the stories like?__

Desire is all in the details. That’s why we put so much care into every story we create. Between 10-25 minutes long, Dipsea audio stories immerse you in a world of aspirational and 100% consensual sex and relationships, and sometimes even insert you into the story. You’ll meet characters you’ll love—and watch your imagination do the rest. 

We want people to hear themselves in our stories. Over 50% of our characters are voiced by people of color, and over 25% of our stories are queer. Characters are empowered in their sexual, social, and romantic experiences. Sex is communicative, and pleasure doesn’t sound performed. 

__How sexy are the stories, really?__

Dipsea stories are designed to be erotic. Some are more flirtatious and romantic, and some include more intense themes like off-limits hookups, threesomes, and BDSM. 

We believe communication is key. Stories are always clearly tagged, labeled, and explained—so you always know exactly what you’re getting into before you listen. Because if you don’t feel safe and comfortable, you’ll never feel relaxed and turned on. And you’ll have an easy time finding more of what you’re looking for, especially as we get to know you better. 

__What are your Sleep Scenes like?__

Every night Dipsea was already being invited under duvets, tucked under pillows, and placed on nightstands. Sleep by Dipsea was developed as an even more intentional exhale at the end of a listening session.

Queue up soothing sounds, tranquil tours of dreamy destinations, and cozy Sleep Overs where a Dipsea Hunk tucks you in and then stays close by (playing the guitar or cleaning up after dinner) while you drift off. Dipsea Sleep Scenes range between 15-60 minutes. 

__What about the Wellness Sessions?__

Our Wellness Sessions are designed to support listeners trying to bring more of an active practice into their sexual and romantic lives. We partner with experts to create meditations, erotic breathwork exercises, dirty talk how-to’s, self-love guides, and more. 

__Why does Dipsea focus on audio?__

90% of women use their imaginations to get aroused, according to a study done by OMGYes and the Kinsey Institute. Audio erotica is intimate, immersive, and incredibly personal for each listener. Every story becomes your own personal version, designed by your own imagination. 
Dipsea now also offers sexy stories that you can read chapter by chapter, so you can get lost in the steamy backstories of your favorite Hunks, or discover new retellings of our most loved series.

__Is Dipsea just for women?__

Dipsea was designed with women in mind because they were so clearly underserved in a space defined by and for the male gaze. But the app is a safe space for all perspectives, preferences, and genders. Dipsea has HER + HER, HER + HIM, and a growing selection of HIM + HIM, and non-binary content. Over 25% of the Dipsea library is queer. Dipsea is an approachable resource for anyone who wants to get in the mood, spark their imagination, and learn about themselves. 

__Can partners listen together?__

If you think Dipsea might be a fun way to get in the mood together or to break the ice on certain topics with your partner—amazing! Dipsea is a highly personal experience, and you should listen in the ways that make the most sense for you. Our research shows that most people listen solo (~90% of subscribers), but more than 30% of people say the reason they listen to Dipsea is for the positive effect it has on their relationships. 

By nurturing your imagination and getting familiar with your fantasies and boundaries, you’re primed to have great sex with yourself and others. 

__Can I work for Dipsea?__ 

We’re only as great as the people we work with, and we’d love to meet you. Check out the current opportunities for working with us: 

- [Work with us](https://angel.co/dipsea/jobs)
- [Voice act for us](https://www.dipseastories.com/voice/) 
- [Become a story contributor](https://forms.gle/dQ4j9zPFxffqoH5c6) 


Looking for answers? You're in the right place. Read the FAQs to find out what Dipsea is and learn more about the team behind it. We've got all your answers right here. 

What is Dipsea? Why does Dipsea matter? Who is Dipsea for?

FAQ-v2

Dipsea FAQ

Ready to explore a new side of yourself? That's what Dipsea is for. 

The Deep Dive opens up the dialogue around modern intimacy and gives you a peek into the universe of people, ideas, and stories that light us up and move the conversation around sexuality forward.

The Deep Dive

Responsive vs. spontaneous desire

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The Latest

Listen, light yourself up.